01/26/2002

Fear and Loathing in Job Searching

job. searching. sucks.

I know I should have a better attitude about this, that I should be sitting here thinking happy thought doing positive visualizations of the company /organization of my choice (whoever they may be) offering me the job of my dreams (whatever that may exactly entail) at a salary that makes me swoon (with happiness, not dread).

But I'm having a hard time doing that. Am instead feeling a nasty combination of anxiety (that I won't find a job), envy (at everyone who is no doubt having an easier time of it than I am), anger (that I'm graduating during such a crappy job market), fear (that employers won't think I'm worthy of their job), and I don't know what else. Whatever it is I don't like it.

The solutions to this are easy. Well maybe not easy but at least see-able.

Dig in. Dig in. Dig in. Dig in. Continue looking for jobs. Continue pestering professors, friends, colleagues for contacts. Send my resume out. And most importantly, stop worrying. That's one of the lessons I've relearned here at school - that you don't get credit for (worrying) time served. Over the last year and a half I've been reminded that it's not the amount of time you spent on the assignment, its what you've accomplished at the end. (I didn't learn this at work - the lesson I learned at work was that it matters how long you're there, and what you accomplish matters mainly if anyone else in the office cares about the project).

So back to work. Grrrrowl.