currently reading - for book club next month we're reading "Seabiscuit" which I need to buy. Slogging through stuff for newsmedia.

currently listening to - back to folk - Jess Klein and O Brother playing today.

job status - told LC yes.

04/06/2002

secret admirers, dive bars, and "hot pants"

Read something yesterday on TomatoNation about a guy complaining about his ex airing problems about their relationship on her weblog. Though this is my space and I know I can say whatever I want, I don't want the exbf to be writing similar letters to advice columnists. I'm not entirely sure what I think he deserves but I know it is better than that.

Besides, I'm tired of talking about it, of thinking about it, of thinking about him. One of the best things about being here in California is that I'm not defined by any romantic relationships (not that I'm defined that way in Washington, really, either). My friends, my family know me on my own and didn't don't won't care if I'm with someone or not. I don't even like thinking of myself primarily as someone's girlfriend. So if being with him wasn't defining why should not being with him be that way? It's not.

Another thing that has come clear the last week or so is that I am fortunate in my friends. People here and in DC have been beyond wonderful to me, providing much comfort, active listening and blessedly little advice. I don't want to name names in particular, but those of you who have been particularly stellar, you know who you are - and know that I owe you.

So I learned about a bus-riding secret admirer the other day.

Got on the bus pretty late at night, at Shattuck and Hearst a man in his late thirties or so sat next to me. I'm reading something for a class, glasses on stretched in the seat and he starts talking to me. Something about how he'd just stopped by Oscar's and he'd wanted to eat pizza and all they had were hamburgers so he didn't get anything and now he didn't know what he was going to eat for dinner. I looked at him smiled weakly then went back to my reading. He then started talking about how there's nowhere good to eat in the area (this meanwhile, as we're passing tons of yummy restaurants) I sort of looked up and hmmm-hmmed. He then asked me if I took this bus often. More than a little apprehensively I said, yes.

He said he knew that, and then he mentioned the stops I usually travel between.

I must have looked as freaked as I felt because he said no he didn't know where I live and he wasn't a stalker or anything but that he'd noticed me thought I was an attractive woman and just wanted to let me know. I don't think I looked convinced, and without saying anything else he got up and got off the bus (we were at a stop).

I immediately checked to make sure my wallet was still in my pocket (it was). Haven't seen him since.

Last night went out for ML's birthday - the gang of us went to dinner at the Thai restaurant in the bowling alley (actually not bad, and pretty cheap), then played a couple of games (Dhea made up nicknames for all of us - I was "Moryma Super Bowl" but the best was "Steve Hot Pants" because then whenever he bowled we could chant "hot pants hot pants"), next was the jazz bar at El Cerrito plaza (velvet flocked wallpaper, reminded me of the of Henry's in DC, clientele was mostly in the 60's but drinks were cheap). A fun fun fun evening, despite/ because of the downmarket settings. We'd been talking for a while about having a true Albany/ El Cerrito evening - think we succeeded!

events of the day - got up early, finished hat #2, went to Indian Chaat with Ere Matt and Lyla, shopping for Indian blouses, then came home and have been sleeping/ working since.

plans for tonight - work.

and tomorrow - meeting with the Newshound Gang in the early afternoon, then over to Dad and Carmen's for dinner.