Listening: James by The Bangles

Reading (perhaps quality): Special Topics In Calamity Physics, by Marisha Pessl

Reading (definitely pulp): The Starter Wife by Gigi Levangie Grazer (bought in the Houston airport when I was tired of reading quality)

Drinking: Wanting some coffee.

May 18, 2007
7:04 am

From Carolyn Hax's column today, on trusting and being oneself:

"So here's a way to build yourself up beyond the need for such claims: Become an advocate for your feelings, not your résumé. Articulate your discomfort. Express opinions of things that affect you. Initiate a potentially difficult conversation that helps you explore how you feel. Recognize that meeting a wonderful man is luck, but trusting him is a choice. Believe that there are worse things than losing someone just because you expressed an opinion. (Such as, being afraid to express an opinion.) Maybe you don't think you have the courage to assert yourself, with what feels like so much on the line. I would think, though, that with what you've been through, silently handing over responsibility for your happiness would be the far scarier choice."

Its been a wild few weeks around here. Work has been non-stop, there was the trip to NM with its family realities, and the painfully truly ridiculously extended breakup. On the upside, having things be crazed and broken gives me the chance to examine the pieces as I decide how to put them back together - I've just been deciding what to keep and what to modify as I figure out how I want what's next to look. Not a ton of fun but very rewarding.

I think that's why the Hax bit above caught my attention. All of those situations have been greatly affected by whether or not I was direct with myself and with others, and whether or not I was open to their being direct in return. I can't say that I'm now seventeen kinds of brave about taking risks with all of that, but after all that's happened I'm good for a ton more of them than I ever was or imagined I could be before.

Doing (life and related tasks): Just got back from a long weekend in NM for Hug's college graduation - she's amazing amazing.

Doing (crafty/moving stuff): Trying to arrange a SnB next month with Demmert et al / Aiming to run a total of 12 miles this week.

Wanting: A regular, reliable amount of sleep.

Anticipating: The long discussed Bridesmaids Bar Crawl is finally happening. Now I just need to choose the particular powder blue dresses I want to wear.