Listening: "Stutter" by Elastica

Reading (perhaps quality): Finished Pink Think by Lynn Peril (loved it); still working through Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood

Reading (definitely pulp): Young Adult trashy romances I picked up at the book sale

Drinking: water, to make up for the gin and tonics earlier.

October 11, 2002
11:12 pm

Looooooooong day today. Didn't go to the gym and instead spent an hour or so hitting the snooze alarm, sleeping for 9 minutes, listening to another disturbing news story for a minute, then repeating. With the rain, it being the end of the week and the scariness all around it was hard to feel like there was anything worthwhile outside the house. Hard to feel like there was anyplace safe outside the house. Except for Carter getting the Nobel peace prize, the news today scared the hell out of me.

Bush getting the authority to use force against Iraq scares me. Liberal/ conservative b.s. aside its scary because it's frightening to live in a world where such a resolution is necessary. Where we would attack them, and they or their allies would attack us. Brought back fears of being in 2nd grade back in Berkeley during the Cold War, hearing my parents talking about war like it was a real possibility. Made me think of reading "Johnny Got his Gun" back in High School and seeing a vision of war, even a "right" war, as both glorious and horrifying.

Then what's going on right now in Montgomery County and in the rest of the area doesn't help. Nine people shot now by a sniper; no warning or provocation, one shot in a public place and then you're gone. Walking to the gym the other morning there was a white van parked on a corner with someone sitting in it and I found myself getting spooked. And feeling ridiculous about it, I mean there are tons of white van around, the guy in it was Indian not white (as reports have the van driver as being), and it was a quiet not busy place (unlike where the shootings have taken place up until this point). But I was spooked. And I am scared.

Thank goodness I have Liz Phair to put a dose of unreality into things. Was listening to "Exile in Guyville" today while working - most of the time when I'm listening to music I don't really pay attention, I just like the white noise. But today I was writing e-mails to ask people to participate in some design interviews - serious slightly grovely stuff and I started listening to the song playing. It was "Flower". If you know the song you know why it first shocked then cracked me up. If you don't suffice to say that one of the lyrics in the song is where she tells the guy "[she] want[s] to be [his] blow job queen." The contrast between that and the very business-y stuff I was writing was vast enough to be ridiculous.

Other than that, work's going well. Love the stuff I'm doing, love the people I'm working with; it's all really quite grand.

Happy hour tonight was a blast. SS the SS called me about it on Wednesday, then Demmert and I arranged the particulars today. I expected to go for an hour then amble home. Instead there were six of us crowded around a little table at Mr. Smith's in Georgetown for about 4 hours, drinking cheap rail drinks, eating bad appetizers, and cracking each other the hell up. A good end to a draining day.

Doing (life and related tasks): just got back from happy hour with Demmert, SS the SS, and a couple of others.

Doing (crafty stuff): continuing the knitting a sweater out of some fluffy plum colored yarn.

Wanting: a good night's sleep.

Anticipating: volunteering at the book fair and hopefully scrounging up some fun going out plans.